The Seleção logo/emblems are really neat. I wonder how long until someone
recreates one as a Halo 3 emblem. Dang, I just depressed myself.

So are you watching Eden of the East yet? Because you should be. I know it’s really easy now a days to pick out a couple of Shakespeare quotes and drop terms like “noblesse oblige” all over the place, but the show really seems to have its shit together.

And by has its shit together I mean it doesn’t get itself lost in philosophy and plot. All the intrigues and memory loss doesn’t get in the way of the developing relationship between Takizawa and Morimi.

On the left is Takizawa Akira, on the right Morimi Saki.

Anyway, don’t judge the show from the first episode. There is a lot of good stuff in there, like a fairly faithful re-creation of Washington D.C. and English voice acting that doesn’t physically hurt to listen to, but there is some bad too.

It’s usually ‘Long Takizawa’ but it’s a little cold out here, ya know?

For me, Takizawa just don’t feel real in the first episode. He comes to his senses in front of the White House, naked and holding a gun. Also he can’t remember anything about himself. I don’t see someone in that position acting in the calm and collected manner that Takizawa does.

Not that it’s a huge deal if I am. I mean, it’s kind of a small thing.

But by the second episode, Takizawa starts acting a lot more believably. Also, one of the major hooks of the show is introduced. Remember when Takizawa was naked in front of the White House? Yeah, well in addition to holding a gun he was also holding a tricked out cell phone. It turns out the phone is connected with an account containing 8.2 billion yen in digital cash.

So by episode two the show is in full swing. Takizawa is starting to piece together his past and how he figures into “Careless Monday”, a bizarre missile attack on Japan that resulted in no loss of life.

In addition to the content being sweet as hell, the wrapper it comes in is pretty slick as well. With Production I.G. doing the animation it is no surprise that the quality of the animation is high, but there are so many other little things that it is amazing.

The exploding pencil missiles are the best part.

The aforementioned accurate depiction of D.C. (Which I’m hoping holds true when they’re running around Japan too) and the English voice acting are just the start. The song in the opening is by Oasis (Yeah, the Wonderwall band) and the stop-motion papercraft thing at the end is creative to say the least.

I feel like MyCircle or one of those other chumps should steal this for their interface.

Also, make sure to hit pause every time there is a phone on the screen. The amount of detail being put into those little buggers is impressive. Ditto for the Seleção interface on Takizawa’s phone.

Good, now that those jerks are gone, free candy for everyone! Just send me a pre-paid envelope and you will be buried in candy. I have literally no candy that I can’t wait to send out to you. Wait… what?

Damn that hand blocking our view of what number he is!

It seems clear to me that the guy we saw in the first episode is the Supporter. What with him being in such close proximity to Takizawa when the mind wipe happened. What I’m curious about is if his line “Number 9 is proving to be more unique to be imagined. But this is the end.”

Does that mean he has set up this situation and thinks that Takizawa is going to be killed? That seems hard to believe given how much random element was contained in that situation. It was hardly a way to ensure he was killed?

Or does he just know what Takizawa is planning and just think that he isn’t going to survive it? I guess that could be a good explanation, but I can’t see how the Supporter would figure out what Takizawa’s plan was.

Right now I think the best explanation is that the Supporter manipulated Takizawa into erasing his memory. But even if we settle on that explanation we don’t know why the Supporter is targeting Takizawa.

If I am right and these are NEETs, I am slightly scared of how judgemental Japanese people are.

These “Johnnies” were the other thing that struck me as really odd in this episode. Possibly it is just a weird head trauma thing, but I doubt they’re going to waste time in an 11 episode series.

The first thing that ran through my mind is that they were the NEETs that he rounded up in the shopping mall. But does that mean he killed/sent them away because they pissed him off in some way?

Anyway, three cheers for an awesome fourth episode. Please remember to use the spoiler tags if you want to talk about episode four stuff peeps.

Anyway this is clearly the be-all, end-all list for anime, so if you haven’t seen all of these you should probably go and kill yourself. Because I am lord of the animes and I hath commanded it. So yeah, enjoy.

10. Gundam: 08th MS Team
08th MS Team is arguably the best Gundam series ever made. It is simply because it feels like the characters are actually part of an army. Shiro and company are fighting UC0079’s own Vietnam War. They actually worry about their lives. They talk about tactics, perform flanking maneuvers, and even shy away from 1-on-1 duels. Not only that, but rather than being a self-contained unit like White Base, Shiro’s team often acts in concert with other forces.

Shhh… be vewy vewy quiet, I’m hunting Wakus.

This is pretty goddamn awesome, but unfortunately the people behind Gundam just can’t leave well enough alone. In the last couple of episodes Shiro goes from ace pilot to average Gundam protagonist. He strides across the battlefield, felling dozens of enemies with each shot and destroying mobile armors with every sneeze. So basically Gundam’s version of business as usual.

9. Planetes
Planetes is the best example of character driven anime to date. After watching some of the show, the viewer has watched these space garbagemen react and grow to so many situations that the viewer can really empathize with the characters. When Tanabe is down in the dumps, the viewer not only know why, but they feel pretty bad about it. When Hachi is pissed off, the viewer is right there with him.

Even the temp chick gets a closer seat than Tanabe :(

To bad the last 1/3 of the series takes all that and throws it out an airlock. The show suddenly suffers an attack of plot around episode 19-ish in the form of a mission to Jupiter. And then the space terrorists get a major role and the whole thing goes to shit. Still, the first 18 episodes are more than worth the last ones.

8. Neon Genesis Evangelion
What is there to say about Eva anymore? It was crazy good for it’s time and has aged a whole lot better than a number of other shows. It was, at least to my knowledge, the original something else disguised as a giant robot anime. If viewers can forgive all the random religious nonsense = DEEP PLOT crap that got thrown in, this is a damn good show.

Personally, I’m one of the people who feels for Shiniji. He goes through so many And I must scream events that he can be as whiny as he wants in my book.

And, I mean, if nothing else Gainax is still making serious bank off of Eva almost 15 years later. 15 years! That is a decade and a half!

7. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
Haruhi is a rare beast in the medium of anime. It is a sci-fi show where the sci-fi elements don’t necessitate that the characters go around getting into fights every episode or so. In fact the show could work without the sci-fi elements. At it’s core, Haruhi is a show about a group of high school kids who do what high school kids do.

On my signal, unleash hell.

The sci-fi elements take this core and build into it some of the silliness the show is known for. Not a whole lot tops watching Kyon try to deal with three of his friends telling him that they are not human, but a robot, an alien, and an esper each within a day of each other. Not to mention the secret that they are all keeping from Haruhi.

6. Great Teacher Onizuka
So yeah, GTO is one of the two completely indefensible silly animes on my list. It’s about as far away as you can get from deep while still talking about depth, though if you listen to the show it is all kinds of deep. And the first couple of episodes are less than good, what with Onizuka going around attempting to get arrested for pedophilia.

This. This is why Onizuka is the best teacher.

Once Onizuka figures out that trying to sex up his students is wrong, the show gets damn good. Because Onizuka is a pretty awesome character. An ex-biker who became a teacher for the chicks, Onizuka shows up to a class that has turned driving teachers away into a game. He has to endure increasingly sadistic attempts to get him fired from his job and show his students that he is here to stay. It’s just a feel good story to its very core.

5. Kaiba
Kaiba is an interesting show because of how the viewer’s understanding of the show evolves over the course of the series. The show starts off as the animated equivalent of a drug trip. The viewer is introduced to a world where no one but lucky poor people inhabit the bodies they were born in. The rich purchase new bodies as often as mood and fashion dictate. The unlucky poor people are those who have had their bodies harvested to keep the rich in new skin. These people commonly reside in computers or simply as chips with no awareness of the outside world.

The exploded chick and the blond guy are the same person. Doublemint gum made them do it.

But really, all of this serves as a backdrop for the themes the show chooses to explore. The main two being the question of the soul/nature of the self (What/where is it for those of you who’ve never taken a philosophy course) and the nature of love (Expanding on this would actually spoil the story, so yeah). The opening is crazy important once the viewer grasps the truth of the second theme, so make a note of that.

4. Banner of the Stars I/II
Banner is on this list because Lafiel and Jinto are one of the most interesting relationships I’ve ever seen in animation. It feels very true. The bumps and rough spots in their relationship don’t feel contrived the way like situations do in a lot of other shows. Watching the two go from friendship to lovers is very believable. The only thing that didn’t ring true for me was the fact that they go the whole series without banging, especially seeing as how Jinto is supposedly 20(!) at the start of Banner.

So I feel like I should make a Star Wars reference here. But fighters were a whole lot more useful in that than destroyers are in this.

The other thing to mention about Banner is that, aside from arguably Legend of the Galactic Heroes, it is the best space opera you’ll ever watch. The plot of Banner follows a massive Ahb fleet operation against the United Mankind Alliance. All manner of space business going down sets a very nice backdrop for this love story.

3. Nerima Daikon Brothers
The second completely indefensible silly animes on my list. Nerima Daikon Brothers is an homage to the Blues Brothers that runs on insanity and a good dose of Nabeshin. The localization team did an amazing job translating the jokes in this show. Not only that, but the voice acting in the dub is fantastic. The jokes just don’t have the same impact when read. A lot of the funny is in the delivery rather than what is said.

I’d embed this video, but that makes Firefox angry so click the picture! Also, this is funny because this song is completely different in the Japanese dub.

Seeing as how the show was made on a budget of about $5, only about six tunes got licensed for the show. But the lyrics change every time a tune is brought out and each time the lyrics match the tune and are funny. It’s the same with the repeated animation.. Despite the constantly recycled parts of the show, it is one of the funniest god damn things I’ve ever seen.

2. Xam’d: Lost Memories
Xam’d is studio BONES’ attempt to redo an earlier show, Eureka seveN, right. They reduced E7 to it’s base story, “can love blossom between two kids when one of them isn’t quite human?”, and then built a completely different world on top of it in order to do the concept justice. And they fucking nailed it.

The song is called shut up and explode and the show starts off with a suicide bombing. A match made in heaven?

BONES learned from the mistakes they made in E7. The pacing in Xam’d is great, Akiyuki has a whole lot more depth and likeability than Renton ever had, Xam’d’s world is thought out a lot better than E7’s, and the crew of the Zanbani get fleshed out as full characters unlike the crew of the Gekko Go. Considering how E7 was a very solid show even with all it’s flaws, Xam’d is sublime.

1. Baccano!
Baccano! tops out my list at the moment for a number of reasons. First off, it’s a period piece set in that magical time in American history where everyone wore suits, listened to jazz and carried their Tommy Guns around in violin cases. I love this time period because the only real difference between the gangsters of yesteryear and the gangbangers today is a thin veneer of Respectability. The Mafia had themselves and the public half believing that they were only providing a service. Baccano! knows this and puts it to good use.

The music in this show is so fucking good. Everyone should be better friends with Jazz.

Secondly, this show is quite possibly the best example a well-done large cast you will ever see. The series boasts something like 30 major and minor characters, with 20 featured in the opening alone. The reason the large cast works so well in Baccano! is because they put all their cards on the table right away. Within two episodes you have met everyone of importance. The show doesn’t rely on revealing a new character to keep you interested.

Thirdly, I’ve seen this show about three times through and I still can’t decide who my favorite character is.

Ok, so I’ll put a short post here, but it isn’t worth reading unless you download the pamphlet. Go on. I’ll wait.

Akikan is terrible.

No, seriously. It takes quite possibly the stupidest idea for any media ever, combines it with bad dialogue, bad story, and really bad animation and drawing. This show is aggressively terrible in just about every way it is possible for a show to be. But oddly enough, that may well be its saving grace. Like G Gundam, it falls firmly into the category of So Bad it is Good. At least for now anyway. I’ve only seen two episodes at this point, so perhaps it will get bad enough to fall out of this category. As it stands now though, it’s a great show to download and watch with friends.

Anyway, on to the actual show. In all honesty, the pamphlet does a good job of covering everything important that happens in the first two episodes, if I do say so myself. There is really only one thing that I couldn’t think of a way to fit in there.

A challenger approaches!

We are meant to believe that this purple haired chick will be a rival for uhh… Mr. Main Character’s feelings (I honestly can’t remember his name at this point). The main character helped her during his dark past and she feels that she is indebted to him for that. Apparently she feels the way to repay that debt is by sleeping with him? Still, the opening kinda ruins any real suspense in the love triangle angle.

Hot can on chick action?!

Yeah. Thanks for killing all the suspense for us Akikan. Though, if she was in love with Mr. Main Character and slept with an Akikan, would that be cheating? THIS IS HARD HITTING STUFF HERE PEOPLE! You should probably all watch Akikan! because clearly it is going to tackle some hard issues.

Also, to anyone like me who considers themselves to be part of the layout business, Quark and InDesign are the same goddamn program. If you can use one of them, do not hesitate to say you can use the other one on a resume. Seriosuly, I spent 20 minutes putzing around in InDesign before starting the pamphlet and the only thing I couldn’t figure out on my own was how to do word wrap around images. And three seconds on the Internet fixed that. I have no idea why the people at Quark haven’t sued Adobe into oblivion over InDesign.

Oh, and there is blood later.

 The only other thing to say right off the bat is that it is pretty. And by pretty I mean, holy shit this is well drawn.

Really.

Really well drawn.

What? Oh. Sorry about that. Anyway, like I said before it’s supposed to be a remake of the first series, called simply Casshern, but it really feels more like a re-imagining. Aside from sharing a few of the same characters (who tend to fill different roles in SINS) this show takes place in a completely different world.

I want to know how a landscape ever gets this threatening. I would be too scared to ever take a step in this world.

Aside from being pretty though, I’m not entirely sure what this show has going for it. Minimal plot and dialogue can work, but it means the dialogue and plot you do have better be damn good. In SINS’ case, well…

Not exactly prize winning stuff here.

So the year is, well lets just say 20XX, and the world is dying. When Casshern committed his sin two things happened. The first was that he unleashed the Ruin on the world. This caused the previously immortal robots to suffer from a rust which has made mortality a very real thing.

If I were a robot, I’d probably be a little ticked off at Casshern.

The Ruin quickly rusts the bodies of robots, turning metal into little more than brittle clay in a matter of months. It also supposedly stops robots from making more robots, but the show hasn’t felt the need to explain that one yet. As for the second thing Casshern’s sin did. Well…

This is what the world used to look like. Feel free to compare with the above.

Casshern has reappeared after an unspecified amount of time, but he has lost all his memories. To top it off, some jerk has been spreading the rumor that if a robot were to consume Casshern, they would end the Ruin. Or be immune to the Ruin themselves. The rumor isn’t really all that clear. But, despite the questionable truth of the rumor, robots from far and wide are hunting Casshern.

Leading to situations like this. Frequently.

Meanwhile Casshern wanders the wastes, trying to remember committing his sin and tearing himself up on the inside for what everyone tells him he has done. Episodes can probably be summed up as: short fight, meet new people, brood, brood, brood, possibly talk with new people, fight, fight, talk and/or brood depending on how many of said new people are left alive, and then if you’ve been a really good kid maybe a small fight at the end.

This ish mah broodin’ fase.

And so goes the first five episodes or so. But suddenly, a plot happens. Episode six advances the story more than the first five episodes combined. There is so much background information pouring in that there is only enough time for one fight.

“Only one  fight? What is this nightmare world coming to?”

And then we go back to Casshern’s slice of life suffering. Yeah, episode seven does absolutely nothing to deal with the huge plot bomb dropped into the viewer’s lap last episode. And I could be alone in this, but I find that just a little infuriating.

tl;dr – Casshern SINS has 13-ish episodes out right now, with 26 total in it’s run. The art is amazing, the music isn’t horrible, and if you can shut off your brain while Casshern does a series of moon flips and rolls, this show will probably be pretty enjoyable for you. I haven’t formed a complete opinion of it yet myself, so I’ll continue watching at some point. Hopefully the art will continue to be spectacular and they’ll grow themselves a plot.

Heyyy, guys. Whats up? 

Anyway, in case you have forgotten (because I know I had going into this episode) I figured I’d throw in a quick character/episode re-cap here. Rikuo is your average every day high school student. One day he dumped the movement records from his family’s android, Sammy, because he thinks it might be doing things no one has told it to do. Taking along his friend Masaki, Rikuo retraces the android’s steps and discovers the quaint little cafe Eve no Jikan.

Beware the wrath of the small woman, for sure is surely a robot.

While hanging out at Eve, Rikuo and Masaki meet Nagi, the sassy barista manning Eve’s counter. As they sit drinking their “evlends” the pair almost give themselves heart attacks over-dramatizing the fact that androids cannot display the halo of light that distinguishes them from humans while the cafe. Just before Rikuo causes himself to stroke out, he is accosted by Akiko. She chats with Masaki and him for a while and seems to make a pretty good impression on Rikuo. Finally at the very end up the episode, he notices her at school. With a halo of light over her head. Shock! She is an android!

I am gasping! This is what surprise looks like!

Episode two picks up an indeterminate amount of time after the first episode with Rikuo debating about going back to Eve. His android is still acting funny and as Misaki so handily points out,

No law against Matrix sequels either. This is a major flaw.

there isn’t a law against lying. So they decide that it is time for another excursion. Rikuo seems a bit obsessed with finding out if Sammy is visiting the place and I guess Misaki just doesn’t have anything better to do.

There is what relief looks like. Obviously Studio Rikka are masters of portraying emotion. 

After being in the cafe for approximately three seconds without spotting Sammy, Rikuo decides that she isn’t there and has never even been to the place. And before you even have a chance to process how stupid that is, Masaki comments that it is probably too early for him to be as relieved as he is.
Then the two are accosted by the best thing in this episode:

I’m really hoping that Chie gets a spin-off show. Or some sort of prize for being the best child in an anime. 

Normally child characters like this bug the crap out of me, but Chie (apparently that is her name) is kept from being too annoying by her grandfather/guardian/keeper.

This is the Colonel’s cat impression. Watching the entire episode is completely justified by this five seconds.

Yeah. Chie is watched over by the anime equivalent of the KFC Colonel. Well that and the wacky faces. Those help a bunch too. Anyway, while the Colonel’s back is turned Chie runs off with Rikuo’s glasses.

As you can see, there is nothing up my sleeve… 

The only real reason I mention this is because, not because it gets used to set up a “hilarious” situation later on, but rather because what else Studio Rikka uses it for.

Rikuo’s vision is so bad that he’d be better off blind. 

Maybe I just don’t watch enough anime where people where glasses, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone show how disorienting being without glasses can be. This is obviously exaggerated, but really isn’t that far off from the truth.

To be honest stuff like that is really the reason I’m watching this show. Studio Rikka always seems to be pushing the barrier visually. Not with how things look, although they are quite good at blending traditional drawing and 3d, but with how things are presented. More than any other studio, Rikka seems to rebel against how scenes would be commonly presented.

Take for example, the opening scene of the first episode:
Yeop, Firefox still hates embedded videos

It is not immediately obvious, I didn’t actually catch it ‘till I watched it a second time, but this is a GPS record of where Sammy has been. Because she is sitting right next to Rikuo, the last point on the GPS record is obviously the house. Using this as a segue into the next scene is great. For other examples, see the television sequence in either episode. It is cool stuff.

Sure it is an easy joke, but I love them for it anyway.

Studio Rikka has produced three animations since its inception, a short called Aquatic Language, a single OVA called Pale Cocoon, and finally a six episode ONA (Awww, crap) called Eve no Jikan. Now if you were to tell me you didn’t know what an ONA is, I laugh and call you a jerk. Then I’d tell you I don’t know either. But, given that the speed of Tectonic Plates is somewhere around five to ten kilometers per year, in a couple hundred million years when North America slams into Japan, you can drive to the Studio Rikka building and ask why you still haven’t seen episode two of Eve no Jikan. As near as I can tell, that is what being an ONA means, hell will freeze over before we see any more of it. Sort of like Hellsing Ultimate, but there isn’t really much of a loss there.

Anyway, I’m going to start off with Aquatic Language and Eve no Jikan because the two share quite a lot in common. Probably because Aquatic Language is really a proto-Eve. I’m not sure if the people at Studio Rikka didn’t like how Aquatic Language turned out or they just felt there was more story to tell, but the similarities between the two are striking.

Aquatic Language takes place entirely in a cafe, while Eve no Jikan features a cafe as one of its main locals. This means they are the same. Duh.

In addition to sharing settings, the two shows explore a lot of the same themes. Both shows deal with the question of androids; how humans will react to them and so on. In Aquatic Language one of the characters spends the entire show chatting up an android only to find out at the end that she has no pants to get into. Bummer dude. In the world of Eve no Jikan, society is currently experiencing a wave anti-robot sentimentality for some unspecified reason. Which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense because the first screen shot I posted mentioned robots have been in use for a long time. So why experience growing pains over the whole thing now?

YOU CAN’T HUG YOUR BABIES WITH NUCLEAR ARMS!

Naturally, this makes the discovery of a cafe that removes the ring that identifies androids from humans, an alarming event to the main characters of Eve. I think this gets taken a bit too far personally. Seriously, they act like someone has a gun pointed at a long line of children and nuns. Sure it is surprising, but the characters in the show act like this rule is a ticking bomb that will go off unless they handle the situation the right way. And just walking away and calling the police is not the right way, despite how grave the situation appearently is.

“You could be an android. Oh shit, even I could be an android!”

Both shows also have a hardon for Asimov’s three laws of robotics. I don’t have much to say beyond that. I dunno, Asimov is a big thing with some sci-fi freaks so I thought I’d mention it. Well that and Asimov did a lot of exploring human/android interactions of his own.

One last thing about the similarities between these two shows and I’ll shut up and move on to Pale Cocoon. The bartenders/baristas at both cafes figure largely into both shows and they are essentially the same character. The same thing can be said about the main character of Eve and the jerk who spends all of Aquatic Language trying to get into an android’s pants. Right down to the creepy attraction to androids actually.

I’m not sure if these characters look the same because the people at Studio Rikka want them to or because most characters with similar hairstyles look the same in anime.

I really don’t have a whole lot to say about Pale Cocoon, other than the fact that it is great. If I’m going to be honest, I think this is my favorite show Rikka has done to date. The show deals with the nature of reality, which is a reoccurring theme for these guys as I’m sure you can tell, but without incorporating androids. Ura, the main character, works for the archives department of his possibly post-apoclyptic society. While humanity as a species cowers underground, he reconstructs information lost at some unspecified point in time with his bitching computer system.

Isn’t it interesting that this show makes using computer look like the coolest thing ever? Verrrrrrrrry interesting.

I wish I owned a book with a HUD.

In case you find that book thing as cool as I do, I went ahead and made an avatar-sized version of it. Also, just in case you hadn’t gathered from the screen shots, Pale Cocoon and Eve no Jikan are absolutely beautiful. To be honest, Aquatic Language doesn’t look all that bad either. Let just say though, that if art were food and I was a starving fat man who had to choose something to kill myself with (Because I’m a dumbshit fat man who doesn’t know eating rich foods at this point will kill me), I would not be choosing Aquatic Language.

Ugh, where the hell am I?

Now I know what you are thinking. The art style on Kaiba is fairly jarring, mostly because of how simplistic things are. And yes, the show does start out with the main character waking up with amnesia. However, despite these pitfalls, I assure you this show is worth watching.

This seems… not good. I mean, I’m no doctor but I don’t think a person is supposed to have holes in his chest.

I mean for one he has a hole in his chest. And he is apparently the most manly-man ever because he doesn’t really have much to say about it. Doesn’t freak out or anything. He is like, “Oh I have a hole in my chest. That’s cool.” I don’t know about you guys but that is an attitude I can respect. In fact, I think that I will be call this guy “the dude” until he remembers his name, because he is that cool.

Hey look, it’s Astro Boy. Hi Astro- wait, how do I remember Astro Boy and not my name?

Before the dude has time to do much soul searching, Astro Boy shows up. He seems a little concerned about the hole in the dude’s chest. I imagine it is the polite thing to do and all, but the two don’t get much small talk in before this happens:

Holy crap, what just happened? Actually, what is happening now?

In order to keep from having to explain what is going on, a crazy action sequence starts. The dude is rescued in the nick of time by some crazy green bird looking thing wearing a space helmet. It then promptly jumps out a window.

I’m not sure what this bird thing is but I don’t really want to be caught by whatever is chasing us. They are even weirder than the bird if that is possible.

See? Flying spaghetti monsters. I’m being chased by flying spaghetti monsters. I can’t help but feel I did something horrible in my past to deserve this.

And now, the dude starts asking the bird thing all kinds of existential questions. I mean, I get that this is kind of important but how about you sit down and have a nice chat with the bird thing after you have escaped from all the horrible soul-sucking monstrosities.

I’m thinking that if I don’t know who I am, this bird thing must know who I am.

Thankfully the bird thing is either incapable of talking or has a better sense of dramatic timing than the dude because the chase continues unabated until they get to this funky room.

Wow, how rude is that bird thing. Doesn’t even answer my questions, just continues on saving my life. What a jerk.

After dodging the flying things a few times, the bird thing propels the dude through the waterwheel at the far end of the room. Unfortunately for the dude, one of the flying things follows.

I just can’t catch a break today.

Looks like I spoke too soon. Jeeze, they are really beating the tar out of that thing, I wonder what it ever did to them.

Now I feel like a jerk. I didn’t know it was eating people, I swear.

As it turns out, the flying things don’t eat people. What it does is separates the consciousness from the body so the body can be sold to the highest bidder. So now they have to figure out what chips go with what bodies. Unfortunately the process they have developed for this consists of just asking each consciousness who they are. I don’t see any problems with that.

Once that is all over, a strange demon child asks the dude if he is all right.

I am fine demon child. Those are some sick lookin’ horns you got there.

Momentary concern over the hole in the dude’s chest over, the demon child proceeds use the hole as a set piece for her toys.

Yeah, so maybe I should go lie down or something. Having a child pass her toy through my chest throws into sharp relief the fact that I probably shouldn’t be walking around.

And then, someone interesting shows his face.

Hey, I remember him! Maybe my memories are com- oh… right.

I sure don’t. Doesn’t seem like that huge of a deal though.

I think one of the things I like most about this show is how chill the dude is about losing all his memories. I’d probably be freaking out if I couldn’t remember my name. The dude just seems mildly annoyed by it.

Anyway, Astro Boy introduces himself as Popo. He explains that the flying things are sent by rich people who are always looking to get themselves a younger body or more pleasurable memories. Oh and because this is anime we are talking about, where would the show be without the dude having some sort of power that sets him apart from everyone else?

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Whoa, these clouds are pretty awesome.

Popo explains that the upper class uses these electrical clouds to keep the poor people in order. The cloud wipes a person of their memories and the rich are quick to use it to crush any organized resistance.

At some point Popo decides that he needs to get the dude off of the planet. I’m not sure why, but the dude agrees he should go too. One weakness of this show is they don’t always come up with the best or any reason for the story to progress the way it does.

Wait. What are we doing here again?

The dude and Popo’s search for a way off planet lead them to this bar. Or at least that is what I would like to think. Otherwise Popo knows some fucking creepy people. Anyway, it is worth pointing out that patrons of this bar can partake in a very fun looking drug.

Hey that looks like fun. I don’t suppose you can spare some cash Popo?

Being appraised like a piece of meat is much less fun than doing drugs. Just sayin’.

The newcomer studies the dude closely, making him spin around and even strip down entirely. Perhaps she is a tailor? Is Popo buying the dude a new suit? Aww, that’s so sweet. Anyway, whatever the woman’s intentions, the dude’s display attracts some attention.

I can’t blame you be being jealous man. It is a pretty sweet body.

Which Popo deals with in style.

Hah! Nice one Popo. You know I wasn’t sure about you, but you’re pretty cool.

Popo grabs the dude’s cloak and tells him to get out once he has drawn off the crazy man. But, just before he runs off he tells the dude that his name is Warp. Before the dude can ask how Popo knows his name, he runs off with the crazy man following behind.

The possible tailor and Warp make a break for it shortly afterwards.

Damnit, this is the worst suit ever.

What happens next? Well you’ll just have to give Kaiba a watch now, won’t you? You know what the best part is? This series is over! So if you can track it down, you can watch at your own pace. Woooooooo!

What’s that? You haven’t been watching Xam’d? Well, I suppose it’s understandable, seeing as how it’s being released online as a downloadable rental for the PS3 or the PSP. I’m not sure why either. Anyway, it’s a pretty sweet show about giant robots, giant biorobots, and other giant things. Ready to learn all about the wonders of the world of Xam’d?

This is awkward. I don’t know why studio BONES decided the first scene in the anime needed to be some albino swallowing a seed that was stored in a condom. If it makes you feel any better, this scene makes sense fairly early on in the series. Yeah, I don’t feel any better either. Hold me.

Our protagonist for this particular show happens to be some high school student named Takehara Akiyuki. He lives on the bafflingly small island on Sentan, which apparently only has the one town on it.

Surprisingly enough, Akiyuki’s character design successfully clears many of the pits the majority of anime protagonists do their best to fall into at every opportunity. Case in point, not only are both of his parents alive, but he has a normal relationship with both of them. The two are having marital problems, but the show hasn’t featured any “hilarious” domestic abuse yet. I guess this could be a fault for some anime viewers, but screw them anyway.

Now where would a high school student be without friends? Aside from being a head taller than anyone else in the show, Furichi (on the left) is one of those people who try to apply the rules of one thing to a completely unrelated situation. In this case it is the mantra of the unspecified martial art he practices. You’ll see what I mean when you start watching the show.Haru (the one in the middle) practices that unspecified martial art alongside Furichi. Working in accordance with the very fundamental laws of anime, she is far better at it than him.

So anyway, Akiyuki and the others head off for another exciting day at school when Akiyuki notices someone interesting.

It’s that albino girl from the ultra creepy intro. I wonder what she is doing on the bus to Akiyuki’s school? Oh! Maybe she is a transfer student and love will blossom between her and Akiyuki. That could lead to a spicy love triangle involving Haru. I can’t wait for them to get to school.

Here we are at school. What wacky adventures will Akiyuki and the gang get into today?

That is a nice cell phone charm you have there albino girl. You should probably show it to Akiyuki; I’ll bet that he would love it.

Hey, what are you doing…? Oh poop.

- – -

So then, just in case the above was too long, here are three simple reasons why you should be watching Xam’d:1. Not only is the opening theme song called “Shut Up and Explode” but it is fucking awesome.2. It’s BONES so the show is very pretty. Especially well done this time around are the backgrounds.

 3. Apparently Xam’ds are created through suicide bombings.